Bassooner or Later . . . .

Moving into our new home in February gave us the opportunity to clear out the storage space we had been renting for the past two years.  While most of our items currently live in the garage awaiting something akin to the sorting hat in Harry Potter, valuable items came inside to rest before finding permanent homes.

One of those items was my bassoon.

I started playing bassoon in 7th grade after being unsatisfied with my spot in the last row of clarinet players.  My grandmother, Anne Poklemba, passed away in 1989 and left me $5000.  I was in college, studying music and playing a school instrument.  I didn't feel it appropriate to spend the money on clothes or other fleeting things like rent or vacation.  I felt responsible to purchase something meaningful.  And unique.  And important so that I could show respect and honor the gift.  I bought a small emerald ring - I still have it and will give to my daughter one day.

I also bought the bassoon.

A bassoon is not inexpensive.  It's a beautiful complicated instrument, with a unique sound that can range from cartoonish noise to a haunting melody.  I knew I wouldn't be a professional bassoonist, but as I got closer to graduation, I knew that my time with the school instrument was limited.  I couldn't imagine being in a situation where I wanted to play the bassoon and couldn't - an itch that would be impossible to scratch.  Plus, I always figured I could help out a kid someday, like I was helped out by a neighbor (Army Officer - go figure!) who amazingly played bassoon.

Flash forward 20 years.

The bassoon has been loved and cared for over the past 20 years.  She's always had a temperature controlled room and was first on and first off the truck for moves to ensure she stayed safe.  She just didn't see the light of day.

Flash back 2 months ago.

One of Maya's friends was at the new house and her Mom, Betsy, came to pick her up.  They were going to a concert that evening - Canadian Brass - and I had a glimmering rememberence of a band warming up and the music filling me with joy.  I squealed in delight that they were going and casually mentioned I had a background in music and loved Canadian Brass.  I pointed to the bassoon in the corner, fresh out storage jail and in a staging area for her next resting spot, and mentioned I played.

"We need a bassoon player in our orchestra"

Betsy told me about the Florida Intergenerational Symphony Orchestra.  A community orchestra for all ages and all levels.  Was I interested?  The next rehearsal was on Thursday, could I come?  I even got an offer for a ride.

I said yes.

I showed up.

It was amazing.

Let's frame this . . . .

So my daughter is 12 and finishing up 6th grade, my husband finally completed 3 years as a full time student and is has been working as a Physical Therapy Assistant for the last 6 months, and we recently moved into a lovely home we'll rent for the next 2 years. 

In a short time frame, I found myself with a family who needs me in very different ways and more time for myself than I've had in years.

What to do?  

I figured it was time for me to re-connect with myself and carve time for interests that were purely mine as well as living the kind of life with my family that educates, inspires and cultivates our values.

What do I want to accomplish?

Arts back in my life.
Travel and adventure.
Good friends and potluck dinners.
More formal Spirituality.
Board games with my daughter.
Focus back on fitness and health.

How to do it?

Say yes, and show up! 

These aren't milestones.  They are parts of my life that form the core of who I am and, more importantly, shape my best chance at a life full of joy, resilience and health.

It's my journey.  I can make this happen.