Absolutely love this version of the world.  Helps me keep my perspective.

Checking In

It's been a while since I checked in on this blog and I'm happy to say part of the reason for my lack of writing is that I've been successful in some of my aspirations voiced on my 5/20/11 post.  In that post, I asked myself what I wanted to accomplish now that my family needs for me were changing.  The gist was to get back to me and make sure that I was living the life that I wanted to be living.

So - a little report card for me.

Arst back in my life - Check!

I've been playing with the Florida Intergenerational Orchestra since last year and the sheer joy of making music again with such a diverse group of talented individuals has grounded me in a way that calms my soul.  I've had so much fun creating these moments with people and being a part of a musical experience - it's become a part of my life again, and it is good to have that back.

Travel and Adventure - Check!

I did it!  Booked a trip to Europe for me, Tito & Maya.  We'll be gone for the 1st 2 weeks of July and will do an "appetizer" tour of London, Paris, Amsterdam and Madrid.  I say appetizer, because we won't be in each place for long, just enough to get a taste.  We're approaching it like a first trip, not the last or only.

Good friends and potluck dinners - Check!

We've been building our relationships as a family and I've been cultivating my existing and new friendships.  I feel like we have finally built a community for ourselves and I am delighted by the folks who have become a part of our lives.

More formal Spirituality - Getting there!

We tried attending our local UU church but got off track.  It is still something I'd like to see us more involved in and Maya also has a strong interest.

Board games with my daughter - Check!

Ok - do computer games count too?  Maya and I still have fun with games - we all played Rummikub the other night.  I'd like to keep doing more of that.  Game night is so fun.

Focus back on fitness and health - Getting there!

I wish that I had gotten that focus last May when I wrote these blogs - I am sure I would see a difference in my overall health by now.  If that was the best time to do, now is definitely the second best time!  For the last 5 weeks I've been doing Weight Watchers and incorporating more activity into life.  Slow and steady works fine for me.  I'd like to have my stamina increased for our trip and continue to make good and healthy choices for myself.  It feels good, and I deserve it.

I feel blessed in my life and am grateful every day for these blessings.  This life is so precious.  I want to savor every minute of it.

Bassooner or Later . . . .

Moving into our new home in February gave us the opportunity to clear out the storage space we had been renting for the past two years.  While most of our items currently live in the garage awaiting something akin to the sorting hat in Harry Potter, valuable items came inside to rest before finding permanent homes.

One of those items was my bassoon.

I started playing bassoon in 7th grade after being unsatisfied with my spot in the last row of clarinet players.  My grandmother, Anne Poklemba, passed away in 1989 and left me $5000.  I was in college, studying music and playing a school instrument.  I didn't feel it appropriate to spend the money on clothes or other fleeting things like rent or vacation.  I felt responsible to purchase something meaningful.  And unique.  And important so that I could show respect and honor the gift.  I bought a small emerald ring - I still have it and will give to my daughter one day.

I also bought the bassoon.

A bassoon is not inexpensive.  It's a beautiful complicated instrument, with a unique sound that can range from cartoonish noise to a haunting melody.  I knew I wouldn't be a professional bassoonist, but as I got closer to graduation, I knew that my time with the school instrument was limited.  I couldn't imagine being in a situation where I wanted to play the bassoon and couldn't - an itch that would be impossible to scratch.  Plus, I always figured I could help out a kid someday, like I was helped out by a neighbor (Army Officer - go figure!) who amazingly played bassoon.

Flash forward 20 years.

The bassoon has been loved and cared for over the past 20 years.  She's always had a temperature controlled room and was first on and first off the truck for moves to ensure she stayed safe.  She just didn't see the light of day.

Flash back 2 months ago.

One of Maya's friends was at the new house and her Mom, Betsy, came to pick her up.  They were going to a concert that evening - Canadian Brass - and I had a glimmering rememberence of a band warming up and the music filling me with joy.  I squealed in delight that they were going and casually mentioned I had a background in music and loved Canadian Brass.  I pointed to the bassoon in the corner, fresh out storage jail and in a staging area for her next resting spot, and mentioned I played.

"We need a bassoon player in our orchestra"

Betsy told me about the Florida Intergenerational Symphony Orchestra.  A community orchestra for all ages and all levels.  Was I interested?  The next rehearsal was on Thursday, could I come?  I even got an offer for a ride.

I said yes.

I showed up.

It was amazing.

Let's frame this . . . .

So my daughter is 12 and finishing up 6th grade, my husband finally completed 3 years as a full time student and is has been working as a Physical Therapy Assistant for the last 6 months, and we recently moved into a lovely home we'll rent for the next 2 years. 

In a short time frame, I found myself with a family who needs me in very different ways and more time for myself than I've had in years.

What to do?  

I figured it was time for me to re-connect with myself and carve time for interests that were purely mine as well as living the kind of life with my family that educates, inspires and cultivates our values.

What do I want to accomplish?

Arts back in my life.
Travel and adventure.
Good friends and potluck dinners.
More formal Spirituality.
Board games with my daughter.
Focus back on fitness and health.

How to do it?

Say yes, and show up! 

These aren't milestones.  They are parts of my life that form the core of who I am and, more importantly, shape my best chance at a life full of joy, resilience and health.

It's my journey.  I can make this happen.